On Your Watch
by AlexoftheBunker
Summary: When Sam learns that Dean took Alex out on a hunt, he is not happy. With either of them. (Warning: contains corporal punishment of adults.)


Authors's Note:

A big thank you to my betas, ToscaRosetti, Edge_of_Clairvoyance, and CrazedPanda, especially Tosca who suggested the punishment position.

* * *

"You did good, kid," Dean said as they pulled up to the bunker. He turned the engine off and got out of the Impala.

Alex smiled, resting her head back against the seat for one more second. She had finally slowed her racing heart and unwound the tension in her body, the muscles in her legs no longer ready to run any second. Her fingers had stopped trembling, stopped feeling the cold steel of Dean's pistol in her hand. For the last half hour of their drive home, she'd been able to lean back and close her eyes and just listen to Dean sing along to his cassette tapes.

With a final sigh, she stepped out, closing the passenger door behind her and Dean threw her duffle to her, the one she'd borrowed this morning when he'd said, "Come on. It's an easy hunt, only two hours away, just a simple salt and burn. Come with me, we'll be back before anyone notices we're gone." Dean was right. She'd done the research, could find the grave more quickly than he could. It would be easy, he'd said. And, most importantly, he was asking to spend time alone with her. So she ignored the nagging in her gut and thought to herself, how bad could it be?

She'd been terrified.

But now they were home and Dean draped his arm over her shoulder like they were best buddies as he opened the bunker door and she laughed with relief, stairs creaking beneath their feet as they descended into the war room. All she wanted was to take a shower and go to bed.

"Where the hell have you two been?" Sam barked from his perch on the table.

His voice was hard, angry. Alex had no idea how long he'd been waiting there, but the scowl on his face said a minute would have been too long.

Dean was not intimidated nearly as easily.

"Um, pretty sure they call it hunting, Sammy," he said nonchalantly, slinging his bag off his shoulder and dropping it on the table. "Same thing you and Edge have been doing? When'd you get back?"

"Hunting." Sam echoed, ignoring Dean's question. His narrowed eyes fell on her before shifting back to his brother. "With Alex."

"Yeah," Dean grinned and patted her on the shoulder. "She did great."

Alex tried to smile, but the look in Sam's eye said there was nothing to smile about.

"She's not a hunter, Dean," Sam snapped. "She could have gotten hurt." He whirled around to her. "You could have gotten hurt. How could you go with him?"

"He…" She suddenly felt three feet tall under his glare. "He asked," she whispered.

"He asked," Sam repeated, nodding to himself. "And if he asked you to jump off a bridge would you do that?"

Tears came to her eyes. "No."

"If he asked you to stick your hand in a fire, would you do that?"

"No," she shook her head, wiping at her cheek.

"Get cleaned up and into bed," Sam ordered. "I want to talk to Dean."

Her eyes shifted between the brothers. Dean gave her a reassuring nod and a soft smile. "Go on. Take a long, hot shower, you earned it."

Alex couldn't help the warm feeling that spread through her at Dean's praise. It made everything worth it. "Thanks, Dean," she said before running off to her room.

Sam just frowned, watching her go. Dean didn't miss it.

"You should leave her alone, Sammy," he said, getting his guns out to clean them. "Don't be such a hardass. She didn't do anything wrong."

"She didn't…?" Sam's hands flew to his hips, incredulous. "She went out hunting, Dean. With no experience. No training. She knows she's not allowed to do that. _You_ know she's not allowed to do that."

"Then punish me, Sam," Dean said. He sat down at the table, started disassembling his rifle. "I'm the one took her out."

"She's old enough to make her own decisions, Dean. You remember when we were kids and Caleb took us out to that haunted house on Oak Hill? How pissed Dad was?"

"Yeah," Dean remembered with a chuckle. "Caleb got his ass whipped bad for taking us out."

"Yeah, but so did we, right over Dad's knee in the back of the Impala when he found us. Because we should have said no and we knew it."

"That was different, Sammy. We were kids. Alex is an adult. She's a good hunter."

"She's a good researcher," Sam countered. "She doesn't want to be a hunter, Dean, she just wants to impress you more than anything." Dean's hands slowed and he looked up at his brother. "Don't take advantage of that just because you don't want to go out alone. She could have been hurt."

"But she wasn't."

"But she could have been," Sam stressed. "Or worse."

That thought sat heavy in the room. They were both quiet for a minute until Dean went back to his guns. Then Sam made a decision.

"You're right," he said, getting up. "You do need to be punished. You need to really feel what it would have been like if she'd been hurt on your watch."

"Sam…"

"In the morning, Dean. We'll deal with this in the morning."

* * *

There was a soft knock on Alex's bedroom door soon after her alarm went off. She glanced over to the clock. 8:35am. With a yawn, she slipped a robe on over her nightgown and sat down on her bed. "Come in."

"Hey," Sam said opening the door. His voice was gentler than she would have expected, given how angry he was the night before. But she knew she wasn't getting away scot free when Sam sat back against her dresser, arms crossed sternly against his chest. "So how was it?" he asked. "Hunting with Dean?"

"It was great," she said, willing it to be true. Because more than anything, she wanted it to be true. "Really, Sam, I'm fine."

Sam frowned. "Okay." He stood up and took one intimidating step toward her. "That's the only lie I'm going to let you get away with today. So why don't you try again. How was hunting with Dean?"

"It was…" Alex paused, swallowing hard. Her fingers fidgeted in her lap. Sam knew her too well and she couldn't lie, but she wasn't sure exactly how to put into words the way she'd felt. "I wanted to like it. To be good at it for him. And I loved being out with him, relying on me and me alone." Her cheeks flushed at the admission. "But I was scared. I mean, I knew exactly what we needed to do. I'd studied it enough. But, it's not the same as being out there with a gun in your hand."

"No," Sam agreed. "It's not. Should you have gone?" he asked, and Alex knew he was looking not for the answer he believed to be true, but for _her_ truth. It was the same answer, though.

"No, sir," Alex confessed, lowering her eyes. "I wasn't...I didn't...hunting isn't for me. I went for the wrong reasons."

"And did you know that when you said yes?"

She didn't want to admit it. But she had known. "Yes, sir."

Sam came over and sat down beside her, taking her hands in his. "You have to be you, Alex, not who you think Dean wants you to be. And he needs to let you be you too. There are many people who live the life and never step out in the field. They do the hard work, the tough work, behind the scenes. And sometimes they matter more for the win than the guy with the gun standing next to you. You don't have to be in the field to be a hunter, Alex."

"He's right."

Alex and Sam both looked up to see Dean in the doorway, hands stuffed in his pockets.

"I'm sorry, Alex," he said, leaning against the doorframe. "You had done such good work on the research and I was excited to get out there and I pushed you to be excited too. I guess I forgot…" Dean looked at Sam, and Alex knew him well enough to know he was remembering the days before his brother wanted to be a hunter. "Jo and Claire and Charlie...they all wanted to be out there. Hunting. I guess I'd forgotten that we'd be nothing without the people helping us get home alive. Waiting for us to come home."

"Alright Alex, let's get this over with." Sam stood up and stepped to the middle of the room. "Come here," Sam said.

With a nervous glance to Dean, she got up and shuffled over to Sam. Sam took her chin in her hands, forcing her gaze away from Dean's guilt-ridden eyes and up to his own.

"You have a responsibility to yourself, young lady. To keep yourself safe. We weren't the ones who decided not to train you for hunting. You made that decision on your own."

Alex blinked back tears. "I know, sir." She'd always wanted to help; to research, learn magic. She'd never wanted to be out there.

"You didn't say yes to hunting with Dean because you felt safe. You said yes to Dean even though you _didn't_ feel safe. You said yes for all the wrong reasons. And that's why you're being punished."

Alex nodded. She understood.

"Take off your robe, please, and turn around. Dean-"

"Sam," Dean protested, stepping into the room.

"Dean, you're going to hold her," Sam ordered. Alex froze with her robe halfway down and looked at the boys. Her heart started to race.

Dean also stopped. "Sam-"

There was no budging from Sam though. "Dean, you need to realize that you can't always protect her, even if you're right there. She needs to be able to protect herself. And sometimes that means saying no to you."

The boys' eyes were locked in some silent conversation between them that Alex couldn't decipher. But finally Dean's head dipped. "Okay," he yielded. "Alex, do as Sam said."

Hands now shaking, she let her robe slip to the ground. When she turned around, her eyes were met by Dean's green; sad, guilt-ridden, determined. He opened his arms to her. "Let's get this over with, kiddo."

She took a step and nearly fell into his arms. They wrapped around her, strong and protective, one around her back, the other pressed against her with his hand cradling her head. She laid her cheek against his warm chest and hugged him, gripping his flannel in her fists.

She shivered at the cold air on her thighs when Sam lifted her nightgown up, and Dean took hold of it in his hand. She flinched at the unmistakable sound of metal clinking and leather swishing through belt loops. Dean gave her an encouraging squeeze.

"If someone asks you to do something unsafe, you say no," Sam scolded as the leather belt bit across the center of her backside. Alex cried out, a line of flame igniting her skin. "You do not put yourself in danger to impress someone else." A second lash fell just beneath the first and she barely had time to react before a third one landed. "Your job is to be you, not who you think others want you to be." The throbbing in her butt started to make its way to her head as the belt whipped hard against one sit spot, then the other. "Do you understand?"

"Yes, sir," she whimpered, trying to stay strong, take the licking like she knew Dean would. She could feel his hand on her back, caressing her, trying to soothe her when soothing was impossible. There was another cut of pain across her ass and then another, but what she could feel most was Dean's heart racing and his breath quickening with every lash. His hand cupped the back of her head, holding her close, seeming to almost be willing the pain to transfer to him.

Sam wasn't slowing down or going easy, and it was hard to hear over her own heartbeat in her ears. Then he stripped her panties from her waist, and with them went any attempt at stoicism. The belt fell, stinging across her bottom where even the lightest cotton had offered some protection, then back to her sit spots and down her thighs. Her sobs soaked Dean's flannel. She grasped the shirt hard in her fingers, pulling at it, grounding herself in the feel and the scent of him. But she didn't beg Sam to stop. She didn't have to.

"Sam, that's enough," Dean choked above her and there was no mistaking the wetness in his voice. She knew tears were rolling down his cheeks. "Please, Sammy, I'm sorry. We're sorry. Please, just stop."

"What if she'd been hurt, Dean? Really hurt? Killed even?" Sam challenged as the lash cut straight across her ass and she yelped in pain. Dean pulled her closer. "Would that pain have ended so quickly as this will? Would those tears stop so suddenly?"

"Then whip me, Sam," Alex heard Dean beg. "Me. Alex has had enough."

There was silence. It took a moment for her to realize that the belt had stopped falling. Alex chanced a glance upwards to see the brothers staring at one another again. And then she heard footsteps, tracking around her until Sam appeared behind Dean's back.

"No," Alex cried.

"Shh...it's okay," Dean whispered to her, rubbing her back as he let her nightgown fall back over her welted skin. He kissed her gently on her head. "I'll be okay."

She heard the whistle of the belt but felt nothing when it cracked down, making strong contact with Dean's jeans clad backside instead of her own. His chin rested atop her head, teeth clenched tight, and he gripped her shirt as she had his. At the next strike she felt him flinch and at the two after that. And she began to realize that the quiet stoicism during John's spankings that he bragged about managing as a kid was no less of an act than hers, he was just able to hold it longer. In his body, held so close to hers, she could feel in every strike his fear and guilt and regret and his need for forgiveness. The pain hurt him, as much as everyone, but he didn't need it to stop before it was time. He just needed it to be set free inside him, stored beneath an invisible suit of armor, behind a mask; still burning away his crimes on the inside, just allowing him to accept what he deserved without a single protest. It made her feel stronger, knowing that he was just as weak inside as she was. It made her want to be just as strong as him on the outside.

Alex heard the metal crack on the ground when Sam dropped the belt and she pulled away just slightly to look up at Dean. But his eyes were far away.

"Five minutes in the corner, Alex," Sam told her. She bit her lip with worry at the broken sight of her hero. But she obeyed Sam's command and walked over to the empty corner of her bedroom, pressing her forehead against the wall.

She could hear the boys whispering, all anger gone from their tone, but she couldn't make out what they were saying. She wanted desperately to turn around, to eavesdrop, but she knew she shouldn't. Their talk was private, intimate.

When five minutes was up, she heard footsteps leaving and the door close and it was Dean that walked over to her, leaning back against the wall so she could see him when she turned her head.

"I'm real sorry, kid," he said. She could see streaks on his cheeks where he'd wiped away tears. "Sammy's right. I took advantage of how you feel about me, pressured you into doing something you didn't want to do."

"No," Alex said, cheeks pink with embarrassment. "That's not how it-"

"Hey, no lies," Dean said gently. He reached up and brushed her tear soaked bangs from her eyes. "Look, I get it. It's not quite the same, I know, but I'd have done anything for Dad, risked my life even when I was terrified, because all I ever wanted was to make him proud. I just want you to know, you don't have to do that with me. I'm proud of you no matter what you want to do. And if you tell me no, I'll be proud of that too. Got it?"

Alex looked down, sheepish, and gave a slight smile. "Got it." She turned around and glanced at the door. "Sam, is he…?"

"Over it. Punished and forgiven, both of us, I promise. You know, Sam's right. I would never forgive myself if something happened to you on my watch. Holding you in my arms, feeling you in so much pain…" Dean choked up. "Never."

Alex nodded. She knew that. "I don't ever want that either, Dean. So you let me do the work here, to keep you safe out there. And then come home to me. Okay? That's all I want."

Pulling her back into his arms, he kissed her head and held her close. "That's all I want too. Safe and home. On your watch."


End file.
